The application is due in ten weeks. It wants an essay, two recommendations, a portfolio and a form with a section called "Additional Materials" that you've decided not to think about.
You've known about it for a month. So far you've opened the website, felt your chest go tight, and closed the website. Three times.
It isn't that you don't want it. You want it enough that starting feels risky.
Big goals make everyone nervous
Nori is our green, leaf-hooded friend, the one who worries. Nori's line is "I can do hard things slowly." The important word is the last one.
A goal that matters comes with worry attached. The "what if I can't" shows up because you care how it turns out. Nemours TeensHealth points out that lots of people feel anxious in situations that are stressful but not dangerous, and that the feeling tends to show up when the pressure is on to do well.
Their advice is not to wait until the nerves are gone, because that day tends not to come. Facing the thing is what helps, and they suggest starting with one small step. You can be worried and begin anyway. Both can be true on the same afternoon.
Make the goal specific
"Get into the program" is hard to act on. So is "get fit" or "do better in school."
TeensHealth recommends making a goal specific and realistic: what exactly, by when, and whether the timeline is fair to you. Its example is a marathon. Run 26.2 miles tomorrow with no training and you'll probably fail. Worse, you may feel so discouraged that you quit running altogether. Give yourself months and a plan, and the same goal becomes reasonable.
Then write it down. TeensHealth describes writing a goal out as part of how people commit to it. One sentence, with a date in it.
Cut it until it's almost boring
This is the main event. TeensHealth's advice is to break a big goal into small steps and put them on a calendar where you can check them off. For school projects, it suggests giving each part its own date and scheduling when you'll actually work on it.
Most people stop cutting too early. "Write essay" is not a small step. It's a medium-sized cloud of dread. Keep going:
Read the prompt and copy it into a document.
List three things you could write about.
Write a bad first paragraph on one of them.
A good test: could you do this step in 20 minutes on a day when you're tired? If not, cut again.
If starting is the hardest part, TeensHealth has a trick for that too. Set a timer for five or ten minutes and just see what you get done before it rings.
Worry is good at pointing to everything that's left. It rarely mentions what you've finished.
So keep the evidence where you can see it. TeensHealth suggests checking in on your steps regularly and crossing things off as you go, partly because finishing small goals builds the confidence to keep going. A list with six lines through it is hard to argue with.
Slipping is part of it
You'll miss a week. Almost everybody does. TeensHealth is direct about this: slip-ups are a normal part of working toward something, and it can take a few tries. Their suggestion is to skip the self-criticism and make a plan to get back on track.
Getting back on is usually less dramatic than it feels. Find the next small step. Do that one. You don't have to make up the missed week tonight.
One more honest thing. Small steps don't guarantee the result. You can do every one of them and still not get in. What they do give you is a real shot, and a clear record of what you did. That stays yours either way.
Try this today
Write your goal as one sentence with a date in it.
List the steps, then cut the first one until it would take 20 minutes or less.
Put that first step on a specific day this week.
Set a ten-minute timer and start it, nervous or not.
Cross it off where you can see it.
For parents
Ask before you help plan: "Do you want a second pair of eyes on this?" If the answer is yes, ask questions and let them set the steps and the dates. Notice the small steps out loud, and resist checking in daily. A plan they made and half-followed teaches more than one you made and enforced.
When to get more help
Nerves before something big are normal. If worry is keeping you from starting things most of the time, if it's hard to switch off, or if it's affecting your sleep, school or time with friends, bring it up with a parent, a school counselor or your doctor. A licensed mental health professional can also help you sort it out. It's a reasonable thing to ask about.
Feelumi shares general information, not medical or psychological advice.
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